5 Things Singles Should NOT do on Valentine’s Day
I was watching the movie “He’s Just Not that Into You” on Sunday, and was truly entertained by the stories and advice the movie had to offer.  (Side note: Do we as women really pay attention to the “signs” that a man is interested? I agree that if a man’s interested in you, he’ll do something about it.)
What I enjoyed the most is that they showed single people, those in relationships and married people – and how we all need to grow and learn in love. BRAVO for that. Who needs another movie that shows how awesome married life is and how pathetic the single life can be? We’re all trying to figure this thing out, and need each other to help us through it all.
No one has all the answers – not even love coaches like me. But when it comes to how singles celebrate Valentine’s Day (or don’t celebrate it) I have to take a stand.
I hate all the depressing things that go on in the singles camp on February 14th, and I can’t let you go out like that! So here is my list of things you need to AVOID this Valentine’s Day. If I’m out and catch you doing one of these things, I may give you the side-eye! (LOL)
- Attend a S.A.D. Dinner to Cheer Yourself Up – I’ve heard that Valentine’s Day is also Single Awareness/Appreciation Day. Does anyone realize that this whole idea spells out S.A.D? Singles have active love lives, even if they aren’t half of a couple.  If you plan on having enormous fun this February 14th, none of your friends will feel sorry for you (which is what you want, right?). Idea: Rather than sitting with a bunch of bitter people who resent their lives, hang with some friends and do something you really enjoy. Anything goes as long as you’ll have a blast doing it!
- Call Your Ex-lover and Ask Them Out – If he/she wasn’t good enough before, the allure of Valentine’s Day won’t make them any better. Sure you may want to share romantic feelings with a familiar face. But hooking up with someone who’s not right for you will undo any progress you’ve made in your life since the break up.   Idea: Comb through your phone book for any dating friends you may share a drama-free connection with. Invite them to a no-strings attached dinner, and offer to go Dutch. The point is to have fun, not create a boyfriend where there is none.
- Treat The Day Like Any Other Day – Denial never helped anyone, and denying the powerful focus on love this Valentine’s Day is not going to make your life any easier. You can pretend that the rose deliveries to your co-workers and the evening plans of your friends don’t bother you. But if the world is taking the day to celebrate the love they have, the best thing to do is to jump in with both feet and celebrate too. Idea: Have something delivered to you at work! If asked, tell them it’s from someone who loves you very much.
- Spend the Night Alone at Home – I understand that some people really enjoy their space (introverts especially). But Valentine’s Day – in my opinion – should be celebrated even if you’re spending it alone. So, if you’re flying solo on the 14th, be somewhere you normally wouldn’t be and create a memory. Idea: Treat yourself to a night in a nearby hotel and enjoy  a change of scenery. Splurge on room service or take advantage of one of the hotel’s spa services.
- Allow Yourself to Slip into A Depression – Did you know that depression is a step in the grieving process? Even after your accept that it’s over, you can slip back into the pain of your previous relationships or the regrets of the past. But, don’t allow yourself to go there – not on Valentine’s Day or any other day if you can help it. Idea: Spend the day in gratitude of the love you’ve enjoyed over the years, including the moments people were there when you needed them the most. Pull out photos and surround yourself with good memories. Make plans for your evening – don’t leave anything to chance. And make sure you follow through with your plans!
Do you have anything special planned for Valentine’s Day (whether you’re single, in a relationship or married)? Leave a comment below.
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I have a date for valentines day this year for the first time in years. I’m excited but even in my single years I still celebrated the holiday. My date is a chef and he’s cooking me dinner.
Liz, that sounds like fun. A chef cooking for you. There’s something about a man that knows how to cook. It’s different for men than it is for women. Men get so proud of their food — so sexy!
Theses things are easy to do…what’s not easy is how to deal with a relationship thats ending and you still live together. We’ve been great, went out to dinner Wed. night, laughed & talked. Thur. morning he was in a mood and over the top rude to me. I said I didn’t appreciate it and asked why. He blew, over the top yelling at me. I left for an appointment and that night at dinner he told me he wanted me out in 3 weeks. Not having much income, a sick kitty adds to the stress because I can’t afford an apt, utilities etc. The past few days have been hard but tomorrow will be worse.
Hi Jean. I’m sorry you’re going through the ending of your relationship. It’s so hard to say goodbye to someone you thought loved you. All the more reason to be surrounded by people you love and that love you, not just tomorrow but for the next few months. Hopefully you have friends and family to support you.
I have one son who I never hear from (2x last yr), no other family. I was in Seattle and moved to Las Vegas to be with him a year ago. I don’t have any friends here and my close friends in Seattle have all moved out of country. I’ve tried networking, tennis group, walking and church. Everyone flakes out and has excuses to not do things or say they’ll be somewhere and not show up. Thanks for your thoughts.
Jenn,
I suggest meetup.com. They have great interest groups in various cities. I joined a group soon after my breakup with my fiance almost two years ago. We broke up after 5 years and at the time a 1 yr old baby. Joining a group of new friends with the same interests who knew nothing about my relationship helped me get over it because I knew I didnt have to talk about it with them and I wouldnt be asked. I just went out and had a great time. I suggest you try it.
Did not do any of the above.. just chilled with my family.. after finding out that the one I thought was and still could be , that Valentine day held no special meaning , so he just called and treated like any other day.. Epress myself in a nice manner , but letting him know this is no longer acceptable, especially since he blew off Christmas!
Christine, I have a question for you. What do you do when you are in a relationship and your beau doesn’t buy you a Valentine’s gift. Would you dump him?
Also he always sends me birthday wishes and holiday greetings days BEFORE instead of just calling on the day of these holidays. I really don’t suspect that he’s married for several reasons. (Already checked that out with the county records LOL and he talks to me at various hours of the day.)
Well he ended up not calling only texting me on V-day. I let him know that I was highly offended. So is it worth breaking up over?
Jena,
Thanks for posting. Really the question I have for you is this: Do you want to be in a relationship with someone who disregards you and doesn’t treat you special? I know it’s difficult to accept, but if he’s not treating you the way you need to be treated, what’s the point in staying with him?
xoxo Christine