Friendships that feel like a relationship but aren’t

Have you ever felt you were in a relationship but weren’t?  Usually, things are going really well until he introduces you to his “girlfriend,” leaving you wondering “If she’s your girlfriend, then who am I?”

Sometimes it’s tough to see that your friendship isn’t a real relationship because to you it feels very intimate and secure.  The connection can be so strong that your heart tells you that your “friend” is really your “man” when in reality no level of commitment has been established.

Here are a few friendships that look like a relationship but aren’t quite one yet.

1. Frequent conversations – If you talk to your guy so much that he’s the one you tell everything then you may feel like you’re in a pretty secure relationship.   Essentially, he’s your confidante – most of us only have one or two in a lifetime so it’s no wonder that you value the time you spend together.
   
    
2. Sex whenever you’d like – We often hear about men who use women for sex – the booty call and one-night stand.  However, when we as women can have our sexual needs satisfied whenever we’d like, it can build a level of security.  Knowing that he’s there to “perform” on call can make you feel like you have a steady relationship, especially if you assume that you’re the only woman in his life.
   
    
3. Treated as part of the family – It’s easy for you to feel you’re his special woman when you’re close to his relatives, especially his mother.  For example, maybe his sister always asks you to “stop by” for Thanksgiving or family dinners.  Perhaps you’ve built such a strong relationship with his mother that you feel you can call her whenever you’d like.  Family approval is very important in a relationship.  If you feel you have their blessing already, you may assume that it’s only a matter of time before he comes around.

Why do you think we get into these friendships without asking if we’re together or not?  What other situations can you think of that feel like a relationship when you haven’t really committed to one another?

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1. Anjanette Potter says:

   Jan 25, 2012 at 11:05 am

   It would be lovely if men could get these same messages. I don’t have imaginary boyfriends so this article isn’t for me. I’m too busy trying to protect my virtue from some local cult leader whose trying to pass me around to his preacher buddies.

   Reply
2. Muneerah says:

   Jan 26, 2012 at 3:30 pm

   This reminds me of the article you wrote about surrogate wives/husbands! You keep these kind of ppl around you’ll never get married:)

   Reply