Meet a New Love in the New Year
Abigail was a 30-something single woman who’s been in more relationships than she had fingers. Although she tried to be the perfect woman, and lived in a city with more than enough single men, she couldn’t seem to attract the man she really wanted. And it was starting to get on her nerves.
One after one, her single friends were getting married and settling down.  Year by year, she’d make the New Year’s Resolution to finally “fix” herself enough to meet the right guy. And then, by April, she’d realize that she couldn’t fix herself enough to make any man want her. Every year it was the same — Spring, Summer and Fall were spent working and with friends. And by the holidays, she would try again to meet the right guy.
Abigail is in the life cycle that you may be in right now. And if you’ve run out of options, here are a few things to get you started on the path to new found love.
- When you’re doing all the right things (going out, online dating, looking great) and not meeting great guys, it’s time to go within. Our past experiences can keep us so bottled up that we lose focus of what we want and just try to keep away from the men we don’t want. There are thousands of men in your local area. If you haven’t met any nice guys in a while, it’s something going on inside. Once you realign yourself to the possibilities, you’ll connect with more men you like.
- Get clear on what you want and stick with it.  We start out as teenagers with the fantasy of what love is and what we want. Then, time teaches us that we don’t always get what we want. So, in order to cope, we lower our expectations, decrease our standards, and basically become willing to accept anyone who wants us. But you’ve got to get clear on what you want and ask yourself the right questions (our Meet Mr. Right Toolkit exercise #1 is a great place to start). Then you’ll be able to recognize the right guy from the wrong one. I always start all my clients off with an exercise on what they want.
- Reach for help when you feel out of your element. If you start to feel nervous or uncomfortable in your life, that’s the best time to reach for help. It means you’re in a great place to grow and learn, but you may need a listening ear to help you come up with the right path to take. If you can’t trust your friends and family, I’m always here to help. Just make sure you have someone you can trust to call when you want to run back under the covers and hide. (I’ve seen women run from men before – it’s not pretty).
New love can happen anytime and you can open yourself up to love if you follow these simple steps. If you can believe it for yourself, and do what you need to do, you’ll be amazed at what lies ahead.
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Ok I get where you are going with this article but I respectfully disagree with the statement in #1 “If you haven’t met any nice guys in a while, it’s something going on inside.” I have it going on and so do a lot of my single friends yet we are still single and not by choice. A lot of us have put ourselves out there – open to dating other races, online dating, getting set up by friends and family etc. and still no where closer to a relationship let alone marriage. This idea that something is “wrong” with us sets us up to fail and can instill feelings of bitterness because we are told to blame ourselves instead of our singleness being due to other reasons i.e. timing, out of God’s season, etc.
Hi Witty,
Thank you for your comment. I didn’t say something is “wrong” with you, but if you’re not meeting anyone interesting, it’s not because there aren’t any interesting people out there. I mean, come on. You’re an amazing woman who’s ready for love, right? So, it’s simple to assume that there are men out there who are interesting and fun to date. I’m not referencing the love of your life here. But if you’re not meeting anyone you’d consider dating and getting to know, it’s not because of God, timing or lack of men. Something’s going on within.
xoxo